


the trials and tribulations of lee taemin

by hoars



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff and Crack, Language, M/M, Magical and Epic Friendship, SHINee is a hot mess, Science, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5803531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoars/pseuds/hoars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay," Taemin says, slowly. "Help you with what?"</p>
<p>"I need you to kiss me," Jongin says, and he nods decisively.</p>
<p>"What," Taemin glares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the trials and tribulations of lee taemin

"I need you to help me," Jongin says, sounding fucked up. "For science."

Taemin stares with all the judgement his heart is capable of. Considering he's been exposed to Jinki, Jonghyun, Kibum, and Minho since puberty, it's a lot of fucking judgement. Not that Jongin cares. Taemin eyes him. Jongin looks like he hasn't slept in three weeks. His best friend's eyes are bloodshot and he has very unattractive black-purple eye bags. He looks like shit, and Taemin knows what shit looks like. Taemin’s been breathing the idol life for too long. Taemin’s dealt with a lot of shit.

~~He might be the tiniest bit jaded.~~

"Okay," Taemin says, slowly. "Help you with what?"

Determination takes over Jongin's face in a way it just doesn't around Taemin. There's always a dominant friend and submissive friend, and somehow, Taemin ended up in the dominant role. No one is more confused by this than he is, but that's a mystery for another day.

"I need you to kiss me," Jongin says, and he nods decisively.

Okay, then, Jongin's lost his goddamn mind.

"What," Taemin glares.

This better not be like that time with the hair extensions and Minho. Prettier than a girl his goddamn dick. Besides, his hair isn't even that long right now. Jonghyun said it looked good, and he hadn't been lying. Taemin can finally tell the difference so _ha_.

"I need to know if I'm gay," Jongin says, eyes firm. Jongin is starting to unnerve Taemin a little. They might require adult supervision. Maybe he should shout for an adultier adult?

"What you need is sleep," Taemin interjects, and he looks over his shoulder, hoping one of his band mates will magically appear like they tend to do when he's being embarrassed.

No one. Well. They can go fuck themselves, then. Not like Taemin needed their help or anything.

"I could be bisexual, too, I guess. I'm not going to label it," Jongin shrugs, and that scary determination is still present. "So-- Can I kiss you for science?"

"And you couldn't ask the guys in your group? There's enough of them," Taemin says.

Jongin wrinkles his nose. It's kind of cute. The same way a pug's snorting is cute, Taemin guesses. He's not an expert on cute shit or anything. That’s Jonghyun’s department.

"No."

"No?"

"Taemin, I could explain my group's messed up dynamics, or you can kiss me, so we can get on with our lives," Jongin sighs, like Taemin is being difficult and weird in response to his perfectly reasonable request.

Taemin does not enjoy this treatment. He's used to this shit from Kibum. Not Jongin. He doesn't remember leaving those two unchaperoned together recently...

There has to be someone else. True, this is the type of thing that probably falls under "best friend duties," but Taemin picked Jongin as his best friend because he seemed the least likely to have a psychotic break. Taemin is completely unprepared.

"What about your friend? Kyungsoo," Taemin prods. "Can't he kiss you?"

Jongin opens his mouth, closes it, and then he flushes.

_Oh._

"You're so fucked," Taemin starts to snicker.

He tries to imagine his best friend wooing the other man, and it makes his chest rattle with laughter. Kyungsoo is distant for the most part. Taemin likes him okay but only because Jonghyun and Jongin do. Taemin has always got the impression Kyungsoo is vaguely alarmed about the fact he's in a popular boy band, and the mini Kyungsoos making his brain work are constantly repressing and denying shit to hell. It's too easy imagining Jongin finding his balls, and then Kyungsoo pretending nothing happened.

"Taemin, please," Jongin begs.

Jongin did keep his mouth shut about that thing a few years ago, so Taemin probably owes him one. Or a dozen. He's not sure how best friend favors work, but a kiss is probably worth a half a dozen best friend favors, right?

"Fine. But if you realize you're in love with me, tough shit," Taemin grumbles.

Taemin pulls Jongin close, the giant freak, and never let it be said Taemin isn't the bestest friend. This close Jongin's face is strange, but Taemin goes for it. He makes it good because he's an awesome friend. None of this chaste peck auntie kissing. He's committed. Jongin will have an answer for sure, Taemin is that great of a friend.

It's weird because it's Jongin. The only person more awkward than Kyungsoo is Jongin. The other man doesn't do anything with his hands, and it's nothing like when Taemin had a similar crisis when he was eighteen, and all he wanted to do was kiss Kibum. _He_ at least felt Kibum up a little when Kibum gave him the chance. Years later and Taemin is still kind of confused, but he did pick up that really awesome tongue trick of Kibum's. The same trick that Jongin is completely ruining by doing that weird thing with his mouth.

"You kind of suck," Taemin says. He's a great friend, and at least now Jongin knows he has room for improvement. The girls Jongin kissed in the past were probably too nice to say it. Thank God Taemin doesn’t have that problem. "You should work on that."

Jongin licks his lips, and his eyes are wild. Taemin watches cop dramas sometimes when there's literally nothing else to do, and he's pretty sure _now_ Jongin is going to have his psychotic break. Jongin nods decisively, probably in agreement with Taemin's thoughts, they've gotten pretty good at this mind reading stuff lately, and breathes out heavily.

"I think I'm gay. Or bisexual," and Jongin sounds relieved.

"I think your first indicator was questioning it," Kibum says, dryly.

Jongin flinches and squeaks. Taemin lets his head thump on Jongin's shoulder. Jongin doesn't even know the hell Kibum is about to put them through. Why didn’t Kibum come out of his room sooner? He knew something like this was going to happen.

_Knew it._

"Hyung," Taemin kind of warns, kind of pouts. Jongin is his best friend. Taemin is forced to hang out with band mates. He actually likes Jongin a good 70% of the time, He'll never forgive Kibum if he scares Jongin away forever.

Okay, he might if Kibum lets him kiss him again, but otherwise, definitely not.

"I think it's cute," Jinki says, and of course he does. Taemin's humiliation isn't complete without all his band mates to witness it. He took a philosophy class that verifies this as fact. Lee Taemin cannot be embarrassed unless 50% of SHINee is present. Taemin is going to kill everyone. "Best friends falling in love. Very adorable."

"I'm not gay," Taemin says, and he can hear Jinki's eyes twinkling. _Hear it._ "That was one time--"

"I don't know why you're so defensive. Wanting to bone Kibum is a rite of passage," Jinki says, and why does he make it sound normal and okay, like he has to placate Taemin? Taemin is the most normal one. Screw Jinki.

Or not, as the case may be.

"His hair was all soft and--" Taemin starts while turning around to address Jinki.

"Pretty sure it was more than one time," Jinki says, thoughtfully, and he taps his chin. "You weren't very discreet about the love bites."

"What's another sign I might be gay, hyung?" Jongin asks Kibum. Taemin wants to hit him for encouraging Kibum, a no-no in Manager’s SHINee handbook for the new staff, but Jongin is also ignoring the thing they don't talk about, even though Jinki keeps bringing it up, so he doesn't. It's a close thing, though.

Kibum does that huff that means he's amused but thinks you're stupid. It's an endearing sound, even if Taemin has heard it almost more than anyone else combined. He used to do it a lot when looking at previously mentioned love bites dotting his neck. It wasn't Taemin's fault. Hormones are a bitch. Ask Minho. There’s a good reason Taemin had to change his shampoo after both hair extension debacles.

"Hyung," Taemin says, a slight whine that he can deny later, but never fails to make Kibum rush to his defense.

"Stop it," Kibum scolds Jinki with a forehead flick. "Do you want him to overcompensate again?"

And that's not _fair._

Not everyone has Kibum's confidence in his masculinity. The guy can do literally anything having to do with femininity from dressing in shiny, seductive dresses to performing sexy girl group choreo, and all the girls coo about Kibum fucking them senseless. Taemin does it, and his Tae-ships start trending worldwide. Kibum doesn't know his pain.

"I'm leaving the group," Taemin sulks. Jongin pats him on the shoulder, but Taemin shrugs off his hand. Jongin is still looking at Kibum like he has the key to the universe.

This is probably why Kibum has so much confidence.

Jinki laughs at him, not _with_ but _at_ , Taemin knows the difference by now, and asks, "So your fans can demand which one of us broke your heart?"  

"I'm going to tell them it was you," Taemin hisses, and then squawks. "Wait, no--"

Jinki laughs so hard he leans against the wall. Kibum huffs again this time directed at Taemin, and even Jongin chuckles. Taemin crosses his arms and refuses to look at either of his older band mates. He wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for Jongin. He jabs a finger at Jongin's ribs.

"We're leaving," Taemin informs Jongin, and adds a little louder, "Until some people can stop being jackasses."

"Have fun on your date," Jinki smirks.

”I was being a good friend!” Taemin fires back.

“Hey, I’m “good” friends with Kibum. I’m not judging,” Jinki says.

"Hyung!” It’s like Jinki enjoyed torturing him behind closed doors. No one ever believes Taemin when he says Jinki is the worst. Everyone always believes Taemin is the bully. Taemin would like to know where everyone thought he learned it from. “Jongin likes Kyungsoo!"

“Awe, that’s pretty cute, too,” Jinki muses. “I guess you’re stuck with us, then!”

Fuck that. He’s never coming back. Ever.

Taemin huffs and starts pushing Jongin towards the front door, having never invited his friend further than the doorway because of his terrible eye bags, and Jongin makes soft noises of protest. He moves, though, which is all that Taemin cares about. He's almost home free when he hears Kibum call after them:

"Jongin! Just tell the poor boy you're very dumb and that you like him, okay?"

Taemin slams the door closed as soon as they're in the hall. He wants his face to fall off it's so red. He glares at Jongin. The other man looks thoughtful and tired. It takes Jongin a second to realize Taemin is even glaring at him.

"Is that how you guys flirt? It seems like you guys were flirt--"

"Shut the fuck up," Taemin pushes his friend into a wall and stalks away. EXO's dynamics might be messed up, but he doubts any group is as fucked up as his own. He's pretty sure Jinki and Kibum have been doing...stuff, recently. He's not jealous, but he has too much dignity, even if those two are trying their best to shred it, to ask if he can watch. They'll break before him, he's sure of it. "I'm telling Kyungsoo everything."

"Wait! Taemin!"

" _Everything!_ "

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write a taekaisoo fic with cats and stuff and then this nonsense happened. i'm as much a victim as any of you.


End file.
